dicklover3000:

*on a date*

so haha tell me more about your dog


teenagemutantninjaloser:

yeah! thanks for killing my mom!

teenagemutantninjaloser:

yeah! thanks for killing my mom!


You’ve got to get comfortable with fear; nothing’s worth doing unless you’re a little bit scared. People call women the weaker sex. It’s a total cliche - a man in a powerful position is considered assertive, whereas a woman is a ‘bitch’. You have to stand up to that and be ready for things to be hard and for things to be serious. 

(Source: robstenisfearless)


hotwhiteguy:

my chopsticks know i’m white

hotwhiteguy:

my chopsticks know i’m white


(Source: milklotus)



the-lesser-celandine:

my life

(Source: mollay)


(Source: wenchyfloozymoo)


(Source: funkes)


yesings:

what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party

(Source: miniaturepoodle)